Bad Stuff before 2012.

I'm not going to complain about all the things that were bad this year. Let's just say I don't want to feel jealous and left out anymore. I should be glad that I have friends, and should appreciate them. Although I am still scared I'll lose friends when school starts next year, I'll just wait until it actually happens. I just hope everyone has a better year. Without all the hurt and betrayal and annoyances.

And I really with that everyone will have a new outlook on life. Not everything in 2011 was bad. I know I can't have a perfect year. I'm getting older an older, and I have to stop thinking so childishly and letting things affect my life so much, or overexaggerate everything.

I'm really sorry for this bad post. I just feel so overwhelmed and messed up. I just wish we can all be better friends in 2012. Without you guys, I wouldn't have gotten through it. We may have had arguments and disagreements, but we've grown so close.

I'm thankful for each and every one of you. And I genuinely really want each of you to have a good year.

Happy new year, Essie, Ray, Jenn. Let's rock 2012!!! :)

Can't take anymore.

This is bullshit.

So I've been used the whole time.  Do you know what else has been happening to me this past month? Do you know I have many problems too?

The worst part is, I want to tell someone, but not you.  So stop asking.

Jumble of Thoughts.

Don't know what I'm supposed to feel.

Right now I feel an enormous wave of jealousy.  It's funny because I chose to talk about this problem with my partner for our final counseling assignment.  I also lied and said it was fake, but haha wooo it's real.  And I guess I am getting counseled in some way for it. Bleh.  Why do I feel jealous already when it's not even next year?  I don't want to lose any friendships.  But why am I thinking of isolation next year...?

Then there's also that stupid problem of choosing where to live.  Why can't they just make everything simpler and allow first years to live in certain places? -.-" I think they reason why I say I "don't like Lister" is because I have no friends there. 

This is generally how my day goes.
1. Wake up.
2. Brush teeth/change
3. Walk out my door and wait for the elevator (I usually see no one)
4. School
5. Go back to my room (usually see no one but I hear voices)
6. Shower
7. Go down to get dinner (after I hear that the hallway is quiet)
8. Come back up and eat in my room
9. Wait until no one is in the hallway to put dish in kitchen.
10. Spend rest of the night in room.
11. Cycle repeats again.

Sure Schaffer is better, cleansing wise. But last year I had more acquaintances and actually hung out with my floormates more.  I think it's because I'm so insecure and stuff.  Ugh I wish I had a friend with me.

Lister is a good place to meet people and to hang out... but HUB is more private and stuff... with no floor meetings or any interactions with anyone else who lives there.

International house would be the best. But hell, NO FIRST YEARS ALLOWED?! >.>"

sigh...